We’re closing in on it. Coming up to the finish line. We have 10 more days before our record is due to be delivered so we can make our release date of January 29, 2013. We’ve been working really hard on it and then a few weeks ago, something happened. The three of us wrote a new song that we liked so much we decided it had to be on the record. Normally, we’d have to go through a major corporation and try to fight for our case, but being the record-label owners ourselves, it took one call to our distributor to make sure we could still make our release deadline. We were told we could. So even though Kenny was in Santa Barbara and Gary and I were in Nashville and we were up against the clock, we made it happen. Got it recorded and mixed.

We’re seven days out now. Yesterday, one of us sent an email to the others saying “Wait. It’s not right yet. We need to tweak.” What??? We’re seven days out! Turns out it was a pretty good reason though. “There’s too much of one person in the choruses; it needs to sound more like a trio.” Okay. Sounds easy enough to fix. But here’s what that really means: booking the studio in L.A. again, making sure our engineer was available to come back, telling the mastering guy to hold off on the mix we already sent… and all from long distance. None of us are in L.A. right now so to make our deadline, it will all have to be approved through computers.

Amazingly, it wasn’t that much of a problem. Our engineer was available, the studio had an open room and our mastering engineer hadn’t even started yet. So we will still be able to get this thing in on time.

Now that person could have kept their mouth shut for the sake of all concerned, but this is a band of democracy and when one person ain’t happy, nobody’s happy.

There have been times when I’ve wanted something different than the other two guys and tried to bite my tongue because I didn’t want to make it harder for everybody else. We’re at the end of this phase and moving on to the next, who cares? Why over-analyze? But I’ve had to learn how to speak up. I’ve been on both sides of that coin. All three of us have. So we hear each other out and even though it may provide a lot more workload to our already full plate, we do what we need to do.

Compromise. Being part of something bigger than you. Letting go. That’s one of the biggest lessons I’m learning being a part of Blue Sky Riders. One, that nothing goes quite as planned and you gotta stay open to the unknowns and two, that is isn’t just about me. (That’s the tough one.) But what makes us work is that we ALL know that. It isn’t all about Kenny or Gary, either. It’s about producing the best piece of work that represents the band as a whole. So when somebody says “It ain’t right yet,” chances are it’s not. And if I’m not the one saying it, I usually have to fight the urge to go, “But I loved what we had and was very happy with it! Why do we have to start all over?” Like I said, it’s NOT just about me. And because we’re all coming from a place of what’s best for the project, I have to trust that.

Before I married, I had been in relationships with people where I constantly analyzed and second-guessed what they said and what they meant because I didn’t know where I stood with them. A relationship is never going to prosper if trust and security is not at the foundation.

When I met Gary, I knew where I stood. There was no question about what I felt for him and what he felt for me. That has and continues to serve pretty darn well in those moments when we don’t see eye to eye on something. I may want to accuse him of “not getting it” but then I have to remember, this man loves me and would never intentionally hurt me. And he’s smart; I should hear him out. At this age, we all step into relationships with our baggage in tow and it is up to us to own that and know when the “baggage” is talking or the grown-up who is simply reacting to the reality of the situation. It’s hard to know sometimes.

So you could kind of say that by being in this band, I’m married to two men. I have to trust them implicitly or this project simply will not work. The three of us fight and have our moments of not getting our way… we huff and we puff but in the end, we collectively decide what is best for our project and THAT’S what we end up doing.

We’ve been writing, performing and recording together for two years now. The record is almost done and will be released on January 29th.

We’re almost there. Zeroing in on the finish line. But if all goes well, we’re really only beginning.

[see the original post on Huff/Post50]