I hope you all know the sacrifices I make to keep you all entertained. I write most of these blogs on the bus after the gigs. That means I get carsick from the rolling of the bus (I also get a little sick from reading the crap I write but that doesn’t count). I get frustrated because my autospell-correct keeps turning “motor vehicle” into “m#*%#f%#ker” and that is not always appropriate. I do this because I care. I also do it because I get an extra 7.50 in my pay envelope for each and every blog I turn in.

This band is a business and it’s a very complicated one. We have financed it, basically, by playing private concerts that we use as fundraisers. One of the more lucrative aspects of this has been auctions. In the middle of these private concerts we offer up lots of BSR related goodies for people to bid on. Everything from signed, framed lyrics to personalized songs to… wait for it… another private concert! It is like a snake eating itself. One begets the next which then begets the next. Quite biblical, in fact. I think the Book of Job was actually written AS an auction item for a private party under a tent next to the Sea of Galilee.

We wish we had a great big benevolent Record Company to guide and pay for our musical journey. I also wish I had an antenna sticking out of my butt so I could hear Howard Stern when I work out. Neither of those things are happening for me. We have had to go find alternate sources to keep this train a-rollin’. The problem is… when you sell a future party at the auction… at some point, usually long after you have spent that money, you are expected to show up and PLAY for that party. But these parties are always fun and we meet great new people who hopefully become fans. No complaints.

We just played two of them. This is why I have not blogged in a few days. These parties are not official “concerts” open to the public, therefore I am under no moral or legal obligation to tell you a damn thing about them. I tell you because I care about you. A life unobserved and uncommented on is not a life at all… it is merely a shadow, a charade, a will o’ the wisp. I refuse to live like that. I must tell you what we’ve done. I must.

Three nights ago we played at a beautiful home in Carpenteria, CA. They constructed a stage on the lawn overlooking the ocean. I mean, we were suspended out over the ocean like three little Wallendas. It was a gorgeous setting. The audience was about thirty feet away. We usually like them closer to the stage so we can interact a little more but they were very cool and appreciative for the most part. When people come to a party they can only sit and be quiet for so long before they have to start hobnobbing with each other. Then it becomes like one of those clubs where the bar is at the back. No Matter what you play or who you are… people at a bar wanna talk. It is just human nature. Drunken, rude human nature. Those who listened loved us. Those who didn’t listen threw up in their cars on the way home. Fair trade. On the way out they had a gift basket full of very expensive chocolates that we stuffed down our pants and then ran like hell. Some musician habits are hard to break.

Last night we played in a small town in northern California. This lovely couple has a gorgeous house in the middle of a state park (I think they owned the land, built the house and then turned the rest over to the state. Genius. Let THEM mow the lawn!) They had just about covered every available surface with posters of us. Just the way I like it. They had an unexpected cold snap that day so by the time we played it was about -25 F. We shook our asses, we consumed alcohol… whatever it took to survive. Our poor fingers took the brunt of it. Playing guitar with frozen fingers is like having canned hams taped to the ends of your wrists. You can make noise but there isn’t a lot of finesse to it. At the end of THIS show we were given cupcakes. I may start rating shows by the kinds of confections they send us off with.

So now you are up to date. We sit in a hotel in San Jose… thinking we had three days off… but we just heard that we have a chance to film something for a TV show in LA on Thursday so we may have to do a re-think of the whole plan. Not gonna say what we are doing yet. There are many new and thrilling things on our collective horizon and when they happen… YOU, yes, you…. no, not YOU… the woman behind you… will be there because I will be there and I have an iPad and a vocabulary and I’m not afraid to use them!