There are shows that are on the schedule forever… you look forward to them for so long and then they are here and you play and… they’re over. And you are sad. One second you are on stage and the next you are in the bus and there is a sign saying “NOTLEF” in your rear view mirror. For me it was last night’s show at Don Quixote’s.
It’s a small club nestled in the Santa Cruz mountains that only holds a couple of hundred… but I used to live out here and it’s a night of familiar faces and catching up. Mostly it’s our drummer who is catching up. (inside music joke. See, drummers play “back in the pocket” so they feel a little behind and… I have already lost interest in this explanation). The great shows are starting to be redundant in the best possible way.
I’m not sure how to make the details of yet another great show interesting. The dressing room was different… the fruit was exceptional (Northern CA is known for excellent fruit)… the Mexican restaurant next door supplied dinner and made our special bowls for us and they were so impressed they are going to add it to their menu! For the record… it’s a little rice, black beans, guacamole, grilled onions, beef and jalapeƱo peppers in a bowl. Stir, eat and run to the bathroom during the fifth song. They’re going to call it the BSR special! (Not to be confused with what our groupies refer to as the “BSR Special”).
The crowd sang gustily. The encore was mostly their idea. We left the club and drove back to Sacramento (2 1/2 hrs)… Got in at 3 and woke up at 9:30 for a radio interview. At this point in the tour my internal clock is a lamp. Tonight we play a theater in Folsom and I will fill you in as soon as I can. I must keep the supply lines to the BSRmy intact. Trying to make that a “thing”… The BSRmy. Get it? Can it be a “thing? See, the R is the start of the word “army”…oh, you get it? Okay. On to other things…
We have been having band discussions about strategy. We are a brand new band trying to break out from amongst the Mumfords and the Civils. We have all been in this business long enough to see what the possible moves we can make might be. Any one or combination of these would vault us straight to the top. Each one comes with its own negative so maybe we could get your input as to which yellow brick road we should follow.
A feud. We could start trash talking Lady Antebellum or Little Big Town. Did you SEE that shirt Charles had on? Maybe a slap fight with Katie Perry. This is a tried and true technique for instant visibility. Some band you never heard of is suddenly mentioned in Rolling Stone because they said horrible things about some other band no one ever heard of. It never goes as far as gunplay, so I am sure we would all survive it but we could certainly snark our way up the charts. Or….
Nudity. Perhaps a sex tape. Now I’m a pretty shy guy but if it helps…..! A certain Kardashian made millions from “leaking” a roll in the hay. I could take one for the team. Is there a market for four minute sex tapes? Maybe a compilation of my best moments.
Shock. Now I know that some of you considers a sex tape to be shocking… but you could not be more wrong. As shocked as I would be to see myself on screen with my naughty bits hanging out… this is not the kind of show business shock I am referring to. Show business shock is hoping something weird about you gets the attention your music doesn’t deserve. Its shaving your head like Sinead… so people can refer to you as “that bald chick” and everyone knows who they are talking about. (I just intentionally tried to start a feud with Sinead O’Connor. Unfortunately she was popular so long ago that she probably doesn’t have Internet and will have no idea I am trash talking her).
Got any other good ideas for making the world sit up and notice/ be appalled?
In the meantime we have to just play as well as we can and hope that everyone that comes to see us falls in love with the music and our homey, almost Amish style of dress. And that they buy one of my sex tapes on the way out. “The Sexy Electrician.” ($17.95 on Amazon)