I’m back from the wars. My dog remembers me. It took a little bit of time and treats but he is back growling at me… his funny way of saying he loves me but knows that I am made of meat and therefore fully edible. That crazy pup!

I have three weeks of newspapers to catch up on. Who knows what kind of shenanigans Beetle Bailey got into while I was away. By now he could be deployed to Afghanistan. If any one could make that funny it would be that dead guy who writes it.

I will have to drive around town and see a lot of people now that I am back. In this town when you are gone for more than two weeks they assume you have moved to California. “Hey! I thought you moved to LA!” It’s as if there are two states of existence: Writing country songs every day or lying on a beach in Southern California.

I have to go through all the lyrics and song ideas I came up with on the road. Okay. Done.

I have to stay healthy. My body knows when it is free to get sick. I can stay healthy on the road by just telling myself I cannot under any circumstances get ill. When I am done fulfilling my obligations I can get the 24 hour Ebola and become a red faced puddle of mucus. I was actually in a band in high school called “Red Faced Puddle of Mucus.” We played Carpenter songs. Jarring, really.

We go out again in September. Between now and then we are recording an album of musical compositions by Blue Sky Riders, a seemingly popular “up and coming” group. We have decided to record in Nashville because that is where Georgia and I live so we know the streets and will not get lost on our way to the sessions.

Wish us luck. We are doing all this for you. You our loyal audience. I would also like a new table for my patio. Your enjoyment and a new table. That is why we do it.

And my brakes fixed. That should be on the list somewhere too.